


The Only Thing To Fear

by sandyk



Category: Playing House (TV)
Genre: Gen, Reference to Mark/Emma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5467997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zach and Tina discuss the nature of fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Thing To Fear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fearlessfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearlessfan/gifts).



> no profit garnered, not mine.

"It's like, imagine your worst fear happens but by then it's not your worst fear," Tina said. She turned away from the dance floor. She didn't even want to be at this wedding. But everyone knew everyone in Pine Brooke, so she was invited and she'd decided to come. To get out. She could only spend so much time at home. Now she was sitting mostly alone at the singles table. She had also had one Long Island Iced Tea. 

"My worst fear involves expired water chestnuts," Zach said. "Not the way you think." 

"So not eating them?" Tina said. She wondered, briefly, if water chestnuts actually expired.

"No," Zach said. "So this is your worst fear? Being at Bruce's cousin's wedding."

"Watching Mark and Emma dance," Tina said, sighing. "When we were married, I was worried Mark loved Emma. Which he does now, apparently."

"I don't think he loved her when you two were married," Zach said. 

"Yeah?" Tina said, hopefully.

"I'm just guessing," Zach said. "I don't know Mark's heart. I don't know Mark very well, though I have been seeing more of him now that he and Emma are, ah, hanging out."

"Thanks for saying that and then taking it back," Tina said. "Anyway, it's not my worst fear anymore. You know what? I need a new one."

"You can't have my water chestnuts," Zach said. "Are you looking for something more physical, metaphysical, emotional, existential, maybe?" He didn't seem to be joking. She decided to take him seriously. 

"Do you have some metaphysical fears for me?" Tina smiled.

"How do you feel about ghosts? Would you prefer mermaids?" Zach leaned forward. Tina noticed his blue eyes. They should almost be creepy but somehow they weren't.

"Mermaids can't be scary," Tina said. 

"Really?" Zach narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I don't think I want mermaids to be scary."

"How about some trickster spirits? A fox, a coyote?" Zach fiddled with the odd scarf he was wearing. Tina thought it was a very odd scarf. 

She said, "I could be afraid of a trickster spirit. Fox, maybe?"

"Got it. So let me offer this to you, as a worst fear, that a fox spirit will come into your house and rearrange your house. Do you have well ordered shelves in your pantry?"

"Very," Tina said. "They're very well ordered, I am a very organized and meticulous person who pays attention to detail."

"That fox spirit does not care," Zach said. "The fox spirit is the worst."

"I'm frightened," Tina said. "Thanks, that's genuinely frightening. I'm taking that as my new worst fear. Take that, Mark and Emma being in love."

"I'm glad I could help," Zach said. "Also, Mark and Emma left."

"Together," Tina said. "You know, though, we're good. It's good. I like Emma."

"Maggie's my favorite," Zach said. "Of the two of them."

Tina laughed. "Me, too."

Zach said, "Which is understandable from both of our points of view."

There was silence for a few minutes, but it wasn't too awkward. Tina said, "So the water chestnuts …."

"You don't want to know," Zach said. "You're not ready. No one is."

"Did you make it up? You made it up and now you can't think of what it could be," Tina said. 

"Oh, it's very real," Zach said. "Expired water chestnuts and also, I think you can handle this, a recitation of James Joyce's short stories but again, not how you think."

"Someone with an unpleasant voice?"

"No, I said, not how you think. And also, I don't want to keep talking about my greatest fear," Zach said. 

"We were talking worst," Tina said. "Greatest fear sounds like an oxymoron. It's great! It's a fear!"

"You make an excellent point," Zach said. "Worst fear is a much better descriptor."

"I have a great fear," Tina said. "I am afraid of baby squirrels. Isn't that great?"

"That's possibly amusing or full of pathos," Zach said. "What did baby squirrels ever do to you?"

"I have very delicate bones," Tina said. "And baby squirrels just barrel around because they're babies, they don't know to avoid humans. That's a ridiculous fear. It's great, right?"

"No, it doesn't sound ridiculous, it sounds realistic. You have delicate bones, that's a real fear," Zach said. "I don't think a great fear is ridiculous or amusing. I think a great fear is something that pushes you forward. Something that makes you great."

"Babies squirrel don't qualify," Tina said. 

"You have had great fears, though," Zach said. He leaned forward again. "You are standing up for yourself after a, a tragedy. A tragedy that was all about your self-actualization."

"You mean the divorce? I haven't heard it described like that. More like the worst thing that ever happened to me," Tina said. Zach looked at her with his eyes that were probably full of pathos. Or he looked at everyone that way. "But I guess it's like you said." 

Zach said, "It is like I said. You had a fear of ending things and being alone but you were great. And overcame."

"When you say it like that, it sounds much better," Tina said. "Not like I failed at the only thing I really did that I really tried to do."

"Did you fail?"

"Divorce is a failure," Tina said.

"Is it?"

"Yes," Tina said.

"I don't know," Zach said. "I don't think Maggie failed, and she's divorced."

"And she's divorced because her husband was having an online affair, so I am less of a failure than that," Tina said. 

"And therefore not a failure because we are not calling my fantastic sister a failure of any kind. Okay, there's a couple things I wish she would change. I don't know if you're familiar with Bocephus --"

"No," Tina said. "Don't tell me." 

"Good choice," Zach said. "So we're no longer referring to divorce as failure. Or a tragedy. You or Maggie. But particularly you, because Maggie seems to be doing pretty well."

"Okay," Tina said. "Okay."

"Exactly," Zach said.


End file.
